Prostitutes: Why Do Married Men Patronise Them
I am all human, but this unfolding story shocks me. And it has kept me asking questions. Timothy, 51, an executive of an IT company in the popular Sillicon Valley, US, takes his girl, Alix, out on his 50-foot yacht, Escape, in the Santa Cruz harbour. He was later found dead, his girl, gone. That was on November 23rd, 2013.
Death on the yacht
Santa Cruz Deputy Police Chief Steve Clark now gives the following account from the yatch’s surveillance video: Alix prepares heroin to a liquid and injects it into Timothy’s arm. Shortly after, Timothy clutches his chest, near his heart. Alix tries to prop him up, but he then loses consciousness.
Alix then starts picking up her belongings, including the needle, and cleans up a counter while stepping over Timothy several times. During that time, Alix calmly drinks a glass of wine and surveys the scene.
Alix then goes outside the cabin of the boat on the dock, looks back inside, then pulls down a window blind, closes a door and leaves.
“Never does she call 911 or call out to others in nearby boats for help. She never tries to administer any aid to him,” Clark said. “She is more concerned about getting herself out and concealing evidence than helping.”
Clark said that investigators learned that Alix later did online searches “on how to defend herself after giving a lethal dose of heroin.”
Investigators also learned that Alix planned to leave California late last month, possibly for Georgia, and maybe even the country, Clark said.
The driverless-cars executive
Well, you would say, “normal military exercise,” which means no big deal in this column.
But this is what has kept me asking questions: Timothy Forrest Hayes, was a top Google Executive, who had also worked for Apple and Sun Microsystems. He started out in the automotive industry in his native Michigan before segueing into tech.
After stints with Sun Microsystems and Apple, he joined Google, where he was an executive with the Internet giant’s high-profile X division responsible for experimental “moonshot” projects such as Google Glass and driverless cars.
And now this: Married for 17 years to his wife Denise and the father of five children, he was known as an exemplary family man.
Now check out Alix’s profile: Alix Tichelman is a prostitute. Alix had an “ongoing prostitution relationship” with Timothy, according to USA Today reports. The two met on SeekingArrangement.com, which is a site that sets up “sugar daddies” and “sugar babies,” authorities have said. An undercover policeman managed to persuade Alix to come back to Santa Cruz after posing as a client and offering $1,000 for sex. A prostitute, no doubt!
Alix, 26, described herself on social media as a makeup artist, writer, model, hustler, exotic dancer and “baddist bitch.”
She was fond of posing for pursed-lipped selfies with dyed red hair, tattoos and black lingerie.
Alix had a fixation with fictional blood spatter expert and serial killer “Dexter” on cable television. And she wrote poetry about drugs, even an ode to heroin.
One writer observes that this image of Timothy departs “sharply with the spic-and-span public image of Silicon Valley as a place where geeks in hoodies sleep under their desks and devote their lives to inventing the next big thing.”
Hmmmm! is all you are likely to say next. How do wives and children who see their husbands and Dads die this way feel? And what drives the men to this?
Men justify their infidelity with the excuse that variety is the spice of life, as if the same does not hold for women. But in truth, as we have noted in this column before, sexual drive for the same partner declines over time, while is immediately surges to the peak with closeness to another attractive woman or man. An expert, Dr. Shirley Glass, explains it. “The sexual cycle begins with desire. Desire is in the mind. For men, desire may be stimulated by visual cues, whereas for women desire is often associated with romantic words and actions.
Desire is followed by arousal, excitement, and orgasm.” Then with time, the desire declines.
There could be cases of hypoactive sexual desire, where hypoactive means abnormally inactive or underactive inactive – not active physically or mentally; where there is a loss of sexual urges, sexual fantasies, and/or a persistent lack of sexual activity not accounted for by a medical condition or side effects of medications.
So as sexual drive declines at home, the temptation to do it outside heightens. My friend, Fredrick, says, “if you see the kind of young, beautiful girls on Lagos streets these days, you will understand why many married men are in trouble.”
And why do it with a prostitute? “My brother, how many of these women we are talking about don’t keep multiple boyfriends and Sugar Daddies for money?” he replies and asks, “who is a prostitute anyway?”
Who is a prostitute?
One definition says “Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in sexual relations in exchange for payment or some other benefit.” But of course, there are professionals like Alix.
Deaths like Timothy’s, sexual diseases, and possible marriage break-ups, among others, make patronage of prostitutes a high-risk business. But why do married men do it?
TO BE CONTINUED